Kenney McWayne, Grand Dragon of the East Columbus chapter of the Ku Klux Klan, announced Saturday a plan to drive all Native Americans from the United States. Reached at his place of business, Kenney's Muffler Emporium, McWayne explained that in the new millennium, it had become necessary to bring hate to previously unhated groups such as the Native American. "For too long these people have had a free pass when it homes to hating. It's time for them to pay their dues", he said.

Asked about details of his plan, McWayne explained that he hoped to, "begin by using federal troops to force those people to to march across the country in a grueling 1,200 mile journey. During the trip, I'd make them live in unsanitary camps with rampant dysentery. Then, I'd force them to live on federal land, away from everyone else so we could keep an eye on them. That's what I'd do for starters."

When it was brought to McWayne's attention that very similar events had already taken place 169 years ago, he seemed both surprised and disappointed. After staring into space for three minutes he said, "Well, looks like its back to the drawing board. Eskimos look out, you could be next."