5/2/07 RSS Feed

Unsupervised Bush Issues Executive Order Deploying Iron Man to Iraq

Described as a rare lapse of oversight and a severe breakdown in executive power, President Bush was left unsupervised in the Oval Office for a total of 24 minutes Wednesday. Although it is not uncommon for President Bush to be left unsupervised for short periods, it is a generally accepted principle among White House staffers that the President should never spend time alone in a room with writing utensils. Although the exact timeline is still being reconstructed, staffers have revealed that the President was surprisingly productive during the 24 minute interval. Somehow he managed to tear 142 pages from a phone book, break an antique lamp, rip one curtain and issue four executive orders. One of the orders, which was faxed directly to Defense Secretary Robert Gates, called for the US military to "send that red robot who shoots lasers to Iraq so he can kill the terrorists." After some initial confusion, Gates determined that President Bush was referring to a fictional comic book character. This marks the second time President Bush has moved to enlist the aid of a comic book hero. In 2005 he attempted to nominate the Green Lantern to the US Supreme Court.

 
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