Leaders from around the globe expressed shock and dismay at the news that a leading US televangelist, Pat Robertson, had constructed a device to harness, amplify and project the power of his prayer.
The device, codenamed 'Lord's Vengeance'' is located at the Virginia Beach, VA headquarters of the Christian Broadcast Network, which Robertson founded in 1960. Although details remain sketchy, scientists speculate that the device somehow uses electromagnetic fields to manipulate Robertson's prayers. A copy of partial schematics was obtained by reporters which suggests that Robertson attaches a computer device, identified as a 'prayer combine' to his head.
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 Pictured: Pat Robertson at a 2002 Hooters restaurant opening |
Second, a series of 700 Bibles begin to rotate on an axis directly above his position. As the Bibles rotate, Robertson begins to focus his prayers. In what appears to be a nod to supercollider technology, the machine then accelerates Robertson's prayers to 99% of the speed of light, finally dispersing them towards space in a tremendous blast.
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 Surveillance photo of Robertson's mysterious device |
Prior to the construction of the Lord's Vengeance project, Robertson frequently boasted about the power of his prayers. Robertson has claimed to have steered hurricanes and created Supreme Court vacancies using only the power of his prayers. This, combined with Robertson's past statements condemning various faiths, political leaders, governments and cities, is a cause for concern for many world leaders.
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| Responding to inquiries about the existence of his prayer domination device, Robertson released a statement stating that, "the people of Earth have good cause to tremble in fear before me. With my prayer domination machine, I plan to implement a new world order in which my interpretation of the Lord's will rules all. Those who oppose me will be engulfed in a fiery plume of God's wrath." |
| Around the country, Robertson's statement was greeted with a mix of horror and disbelief. Groups which have historically been at odds with Robertson quickly disbanded. The ACLU headquarters in Washington DC was evacuated only moments before a meteorite smashed through the building's roof and burned it to the ground. On the West coast, 73 Planned Parenthood offices were simultaneously evaporated by an unknown force. |
 Robertson's device in action |
| Worldwide, several unusual events were attributed to Robertson's prayer device. The Wailing Wall, a sacred Jewish landmark in Israel, crumbled to the ground and was replaced by a '700 Club' billboard. Also, the Kaaba, Islam's holiest mosque, was lifted by a tornado into the sky and disappeared. Engineers and meteorologists are still trying to understand how the solid granite structure was lifted away. Meanwhile, fortune has been smiling upon Robertson, who won 34 lotteries across the United States and reportedly found a Babe Ruth baseball card he lost as a child. |
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