Dumbening.com was created by a race of hybrid sloth-humans which were originally trained by the CIA to seek out and destroy terrorist organizations. Upon learning that the sloth-humans had the ability to create unoriginal and banal news stories, the creators turned these beasts loose on the internet with one mission: to create a website which is a blatant and amateurish rip off of a legitimate humor site, The Onion.

Although the sloth-humans spend most of their time lying around waiting for food to fall into their mouths, they occasionally have time to update this website.

End Communication.