The big news early last week was a terrible earthquake that hit Iran on Sunday. In case you missed it, lots of Muslims and other Non-Christians were killed. Although geologists estimated the earthquake's magnitude at 5.9 on the Richter scale, I would measure it as a 7.2 on the God's Awful Wrath scale. That's a scale that I invented to measure exactly how upset God is based on the carnage and destruction caused by seemingly natural events.
You see, I have a sophisticated computer at my 700 Club headquarters that was built by leading Christian computer experts. It's way more complex than anything you'll ever see at IBM or Intel. What this machine does is compare natural disasters to political and societal events which displease God. Here's what the machine has come up with so far:
I hope this helps some of you at home to understand how my God's Wrath system works. At some point in the future, when mainstream computing technology catches up to the 700 Club computer, I might share some of the sophisticated algorithms that we use to analyze events.